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Read This: Beyond Drama

2/15/2017

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I'm excited to share this book review from one of our own FUN Followers on, Beyond Drama: Transcending Energy Vampires. (Some of you might recognize the term 'Energy Vampire' from the book, The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work, and Team with Positive Energy by Jon Gordon - another interesting book related to group interaction). Floyd Hinman and I have been having some wonderful conversations (via email) about all sort of adventure education related topics lately. One of them was connected to this book. So, I asked him if he would share his thoughts, at some point, about the book in a way that might show us how the content could help us grow as team building facilitators. Shortly after my request he sent his thoughts. Thank you Floyd! Truly appreciated.  ​
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From Floyd: 
With the goal to "help you understand the drama that may be playing out in your own work or home life and how to transform it into conscious, compassionate, collaboration," the authors, Nate Reiger and Jeff King introduce us to the "Drama Triangle." These two Next-Element co-founders point out that because of drama, relationships are strained, trust is absent, creativity is stifled, and costly turn over rates [in business settings] are present and rising. ​
"The Drama Triangle," they say, "is a model for how people relate to one another in distress, dysfunction, and conflict." It is comprised of the roles of the persecutor, the victim, and the rescuer, all of whom carry out roles and myths that derail progress and community wherever they operate. 

In the persecutor role, an individual falls into blaming, manipulating, controlling, and judgmental behaviors. Their myths are "I'm okay, you're not okay," and "I can make you feel bad emotionally." 

The behaviors in the Victim role are withdrawing, being needy, and complaining without doing anything. They believe, "you can make me feel good emotionally," and "you can make me feel bad emotionally." 

On the Rescuer side of the triangle we find unsolicited advice, meddling, and people who do the jobs of others. Their myth is, "I can make you feel good emotionally."
It is very easy to get caught up in this triangle, especially when circumstances or other people invite you in. The trouble is, "when you act outside the realm of your best character, you lose power over yourself." The good news is there is an alternative triangle called the "Compassion Triangle" where your concerns, and the concerns of others can be vocalized and heard in an open and meaningful way. "compassion means 'to struggle with,'" the authors state, and it is in this struggle with your community that moves you into open dialogue, problem solving, and conflict resolution. [Concepts we work on with some of our team building programs.]

In the compassion Triangle, the three roles of the Drama Triangle are invited to take on new roles that drive the community towards growth. Here the alternative of the victim is "Openness," and is characterized by "transparency, honesty, assertiveness, and the willingness to risk trusting another person." The Open person knows "my OK-ness is not dependent on another's response." 

Persistence becomes the alternative for the persecutor. They work to "preserve the dignity and respect of all parties," and are characterized by "the willingness to stick with someone or something rather than attack, abandon, or blame." 

Resourcefulness takes the place of the rescuer and is characterized by the use of problem solving and empowering others. 

In the drama triangle communities and individuals often find themselves in tunnel vision rather than seeing other perspectives, looking for justification rather than finding ways of being effective, and being delusional rather than being in touch with reality. 
In the chapter titled "Expectations: The Double Edged Sword," the authors point out that the expectations can be used in the content and the process, and that knowing the difference can keep you from derailing the motivation of yourself and others. It is by understanding the motivational needs of self and others that allows someone to create expectations that motivate people.

As a basic example, Nate tells the story of his son who decides he wants to play basketball. Nate, being motivated by conviction felt that the way to motivate his son was to practice every day and shoot certain amounts of shots from different places on the floor, and to run drills. His son, on the other hand was driven by contact. He wanted to play a sport to have fun and to interact with his peers in a sporting environment. When Nate began trying to motivate his son, the son started losing interest because it was no longer meeting his needs, but rather Nate's expectations. When Nate begins just playing basketball with his son, his sons motivation returns. In the Drama Triangle, the relationship between the two became strained, but when Nate was able to step into the compassion triangle, he was able to see the situation from a different perspective and work with his son to develop interactions that worked for them both. 
​
Note From Chris: 
I hope Floyd's brief synopsis of Beyond Drama inspires some of you to pick up the book and dive in. For me it's information I can use and share with groups whose members might be showing the behaviors involved in the Drama Triangle. Of course, it will depend on the type of program you are leading, so use your new-found information with care. 
Please let us know if you dive in and how you use what you've learned. Leave us a comment below. Also, if you have knowledge of a good book that we should know about, send in a review - I love sharing!! 

All the best, 

Chris Cavert, Ed.D. 
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Balloon Frantic Too (with a Video)

2/9/2017

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(Updated 4/23/21)
Balloon Frantic is a classic Karl Rohnke activity (Silver Bullets) where a group of participants try to keep a large number of balloons in the air at the same time. Here in Balloon Frantic Too, we make it a small group challenge so we can focus on process improvement, collaboration, creative problem solving and maybe a little competition (if needed). 
This activity evolved from the "Minute To Win It" activity, Defying Gravity (and it's eventual relation to Balloon Frantic). In Defying Gravity (you've got to give this a try), one person must keep three balloons aloft for 60 seconds. Sounds easy, right? So far my best is 37 seconds. Let me know how it goes for you. (Yes, indoors is the best venue.) 
Balloon Frantic

​Needs: 

For Balloon Frantic Too, you will need to divide your big group into smaller groups of 4 to 8 players - less players makes it harder, more players makes it easier.

You then need six inflated balloons for each group - 12-inch or bigger balloons. (To make the activity easier, provide six different colored balloons for each group. To make the activity harder don't have six different colors for each group.) Have the teams blow up the balloons to about the size of a basketball (or a bit smaller).

You will also need game spots - one for every two players in each small group. If you have an odd number of players, the odd player out will use one spot, the other players will share (more below).

​Finally, each group needs a timing device of some sort. 
The Challenge: 
Keep all six balloons up in the air (aloft) as long as possible. 
Directions: 
  • During the action, when a player is bopping a balloon (or two), must have one foot on a game spot at all times. This means, pairs of players will share a single game spot. If there is an odd number of players one person will have his/her own spot - this player can have one or two feet on this spot. 
  • Teams can set up any configuration they want (e.g., a circle) as long as they are following the rule above. 
  • Each team needs an official timer. This timer will not be a balloon bopper. The timer will tell his/her team when to start (says, "GO!") and then watches his/her team's balloons. When the first balloon touches the ground the time for that round stops. 
  • When "GO" is called time starts and all balloons are tossed (or bopped) into the air. 
  • The boppers of the team are required to bop (hit) balloons up into the air with their hands (for safety reasons, no foot bops are allowed.).
  • ​Players are not allowed to bop the same balloon up twice in a row. (Example: Once you hit the red ballon in the air you can't hit the red balloon again until you have hit another balloon into the air.)
  • Balloons cannot be held at any time. If a balloon is caught and held the time stops. 
  • All teams have 15 minutes (or, whatever time you want to give to your group) to record their best possible "Frantic" time - play as many games as you can in 15 minutes. 
  • Switch out timers before each attempt. (Suggested, not required.) 
  • Turn in times for each game to your facilitator (if data is going to be shared). 
Here's what I like about this activity: 
  • It's a small group problem solving challenge with space for ideation, planning, cooperation and engagement (and great for those single small groups of 4 to 6 people). 
  • It's a nice energizer - lots of action. 
  • A good number of strategies can be used to find greater success (notice in the video, some players are lying down - a foot is still on a spot).
  • There is the appearance of competition but ideally some collaboration of ideas between groups may lead to greater success. 
  • There are moments of failure and success - suspense is a motivator. 
  • The time frame allows for a lot of work or less work depending on a group's needs and  approach.
Let me know how it goes for you. Leave a comment below. 

Have FUN out there. 

Chris Cavert, Ed.D. 

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    Blog Author

    Dr. Chris Cavert is an internationally known author, speaker, and trainer in the area of adventure-based activity programming and its relation to community and pro-social behavior development.

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    This blog is a space for hands-on programable fun - energetic activities and ideas that can be used as a means to bring people together; activities and ideas we as educators can add to our social development curriculums. 

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